I may not like it now-but.
“Jesus replied, “You do not realize now what I am doing, but later you will understand.””
There is always an internal wrestle for me when I sit down to write and share things on here. A good rule of thumb I like to go by is whether or not I’ve worked through it already or if it’s something I’m still working through.
Not that I can always do it perfectly, but prayerfully, I do try.
This is a subject I often think about since it has affected so much of my adult life. I’d like to believe that I have grown over the years with how to navigate this world of coparenting and I would like to believe that it is God who nudges me to share at times.
I’d also like to believe there’s someone special out there whose heart these words need to find.
I can still remember the fear I had many years ago as I pulled up to meet my former husband for dinner along with our 3 sons. I knew the plan was to have a conversation together about our parenting time. Up until then, I had had the majority of time with our boys and their father only had every other weekend with them.
As we sat there and allowed for the boys to vulnerably share with us what they would like to have happen with our arranged time, the boys admitted they would like to spend equal time at their father’s home as well.
Before we left that evening, we came up with a new agreement for parenting time.
And then the boys began to spend half of their time at their father’s home from there on out.
Did it sting at first? Yes.
Was it the right decision for our boys? Yes.
Just in case you’re reading this and you’re unfamiliar with my story, let me catch you up to speed.
I went through my first divorce when I was 29 years old and began my coparenting journey with their father. Our 3 sons are now all in their mid-20’s, married, and living on their own.
I went through my second divorce when I was 39 years old which is when I began my coparenting journey with their father. Together we have 2 boys who are 13 and 10 years old who have been spending equal time with their father and I for the last 6 years.
Why do I share all of this in such a public forum?
Because maybe just maybe there’s a mama out there who is struggling with what to do about the new set of circumstances she has found herself in. Maybe life hasn’t went the way you thought it would go and now you’re traveling your way through a divorce. And maybe just maybe you’re fighting to keep all the time with your kids you can, because no one ever divorces their own kids.
I get it. I get all of it. And my heart hurts to know the world has so much of this kind of pain.
It just shouldn’t be so.
But here’s the truth. Your life will move on and you will find a new way. It’s going to be okay. I promise.
But dear mama’s - please hear this too.
You’re kiddos need their daddy. They really do. And that’s not a bad thing. It’s just a thing.
If you have it within your power to heal their heart, would you? Would you do whatever it took to help them with their hurts?
——
Have I done everything right with coparenting? 100,000% - No.
Will I ever regret sharing their time with their father? 100,000% - No.
Has it helped our coparenting relationship, which in turn, helps our boys? 100,000% - Yes.
My prayer is that my vulnerability will help someones coparenting journey. Even just one family. Then this was 100,000% worth it.
<3 Hugs.